Attention: This blog is not sponsored by Costco but I would like it to be.
I am unashamed of my obsession for Costco. I mean I don't want to brag or anything, but I'm an executive card holder and I get the Costco magazine delivered to my home. It's a lovely place to visit if you're in the mood to get some great bargains, a free lunch (samples) and to buy the big box of garbage bags you keep meaning to buy but somehow keep forgetting to pick up on your way home from work.
But the absolute best thing about Costco is their rotisserie chickens. At the location near my home they cost about $5.00. Which is practically witchcraft. A whole chicken, cooked to perfection, costs less than the shampoo I buy. Significantly less. That might say something about how much money I'm spending on beauty related products but I'll think about that later. For the record it's the same shampoo that Jennifer Aniston uses so I think it's justified. Sorry I'm done. But really my hair smells great.
Also, I'm going to be honest, this post definitely doesn't have 101 things to do with a rotisserie chicken from Costco. (HILARIOUS PRANK JOSIE!!!) Theres only one proper thing for you to do a rotisserie chicken, eat it. Just like with your hands. I swear you don't even need a knife the chicken is so tender. Just get a roll of paper towels and dig in. You won't regret it. Well you might, that's a lot of chicken for one human. But I'm not here to judge. In fact I'll sit down and join you. Also I'm sorry for pranking you.
In the event that you're unsatisfied by simply eating a rotisserie chicken, first of all you're a monster but second of all here's some things you can also do:
1. Name it.
2. Take engagement photos with it.
3. Aggressively pursue a relationship with said rotisserie chicken, then on Tax Day change your mind and say you're not ready to make that kind of commitment.
4. Bring to a farmers market and try using pieces of chicken as currency.
5. Make a tinder profile for your rotisserie chicken and swipe right on me so I can at least find my soulmate.
Sorry for being weird just now.
Stay tuned for more Costco related blogs. Because when you have an obsession this weird, you need to write about it and share it with the world. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.