You've heard of The Sims right? You know, the computer game that lets you simulate life with customizable avatars? You get to control their personality, their appearance, and every other aspect of their lives.
Well hello, my name is Josie, I'm a grown adult, and I obsessively play The Sims when I'm overwhelmed with the responsibilities of everyday life. So like every 6 months basically.
I wouldn't describe myself as a huge video game person, I'm just not very good at them. But that's probably what draws me to The Sims, the fact that it requires no skill whatsoever. I've been a die hard sims fan ever since elementary school when I played for the first time. I was at my first ever sleepover, and my friend and I played the game for so long that it gave us nightmares. We had to wake her parents up to comfort us because we couldn't stop picturing ourselves as sims. That night changed me for the better (or worse?) I own SO many versions of the game, and SO many expansion packs. I've raised generations of families, built mansions and apartment buildings, discovered cheat codes and helped my sims fulfill their dreams.
I don't know what about the game I like so much, or why I allow myself to play it for so long, but I thought it might be nice to share with you what I've been up to. I also thought it would be funny to compare that to what my Sims have been up to. And when I say "I thought it would be nice", what I really mean is that I enjoy humiliating myself on the internet. This is probably going to be more depressing than anything.
This is my favorite Sim. Does she look familiar to anyone? Yeah well that's because I made her look like me because I'm a narcissist. Her last name is also basically my last name. I have zero shame and you're all liars if you say you haven't made yourself in Sim form at least once. Honey is cool, she owns a bakery called "Honey Bakes" where she sells awesome desserts that she makes from scratch. She's also a great gardener and grows all of her own fruits and vegetables, which she uses in her food. She's super nice and really into achieving her career goals. I basically created Honey as a way for me to live out my dreams. I like her a lot because she shows me what my life could be like if I eventually decide to stop playing sims and actually do stuff. Honey spent the majority of her life building a business from scratch, I still haven't unpacked my suitcase from when I went back home for the holidays.
This is Jasmine, Originally she lived with Honey, and Jasmine supported the household by writing novels. I basically made her so that Honey would have someone to talk to, and also because I wanted someone around that would clean up the kitchen when Honey was done cooking. But eventually Jasmine married some guy she met at a bar who has a mohawk, so her and Honey don't live together anymore. Jasmine is really athletic, she works out every day and loves to lift weights. According to my Fitbit, on January 10th I walked a total of 769 steps because I was so busy making Jasmine go to the gym that I barely even stood up that day.
After I got bored of playing with Honey and Jasmine, I made Poppy. She's pretty cool. She's a total nerd and also gets really jealous all the time. She works as a doctor, but she gets tense anytime her husband isn't around, so she wasn't getting promoted as fast as I would have liked. Eventually I made her divorce her husband so she would do better at work, she's a surgeon now. I also raised her two twin kids, Julie and Julio. Poppy is really focused on improving her logic skill, so she built a rocket ship in her back yard and uses it to fly around space and collect samples. In comparison, I actually paid to have my groceries delivered to me last week so I wouldn't have to leave the house and stop playing Sims.
I'm Josie. I'm a real human woman with a college degree who plays Sims for so long that sometimes I forget to feed myself. I make sure to keep my sims connected with their family members so that their social needs are met, but I've been pretty busy doing that so I haven't had a chance to call my parents in over a week. I like to keep my sims romantic lives going by encouraging them to go on dates and meet new people, but the closest thing I've had to a long term relationship in the last 2 years is the one I have with my stuffed cat pillow named Mary, who I sometimes bring with me to parties. Sometimes I wish that I was a Sim so some random person could make me get up and do things. I used to be embarrassed about my secret obsession with playing the Sims. Actually, I'm still embarrassed. Well, too late to take it back now, and honestly this is barely scratching the surface of embarrassing stuff about me.
Main takeaway from this essay?
'The Sims' is awesome. I am also awesome. This is embarrassing.
Nobody paid me to write this. Nobody pays me to write anything. Why would they? Nobody wants content like this.